what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
