I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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