i always forget guys have bellybuttons
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
My bed smells like the plague
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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