How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
