i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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