At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
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