and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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