there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
