Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
