i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Randomize
