And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
