hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
