who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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