First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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