i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
