Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
