We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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