I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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