I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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