barbara walters just said penis...
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
