Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Randomize
