he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
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The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
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I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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