We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
