Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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