champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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