she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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