Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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