I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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