dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize