Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
