I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize