Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
