She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Alive.
So much puke
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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