she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
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