Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
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