woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
