let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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