He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
