lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
i drank out of a bidet.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
