I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
