I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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