Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Randomize
