Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
