i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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