Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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