I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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