The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize