can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
