After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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