i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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