what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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