my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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