hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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