She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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