dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize