I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
