benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
