she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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