I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
