Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
