And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
pray to the hookup gods
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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