I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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