In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
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