I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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