Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
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