the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Is it penis luge time yet?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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