he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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