In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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